Tokens of Time
by White Candles
Summary: A story about a man who has nothing left in his life after leaving his job.


There it was; defeating the function and blemishing the potential of something so valued for its use. A single grape; squashed and alone. A red shopping basket deemed useless, dirty. Mr Cullen furrowed his eyebrows in disgust before reaching for a clean, 'ungraped' basket. He set his focused mind on the task ahead, and looked neither left nor right for distractions. A man of purpose, a man of efficiency; Mr Cullen knew how to complete a job on time. He grasped the black handles and walked into aisle one; dairy products. Only a year ago it had been so different…

_ "Edward! How are we today?" They shook hands firmly before exchanging warm smiles. He put his briefcase down on the mahogany desk and opened his laptop. Sixty two new emails since last night. "Busy busy busy... I've got a few deadlines to meet mate... can't talk long... Ah Edward! I've been meaning to ask you, there's a conference in Brisbane in a few weeks that I need you to represent us at... I'll shoot you the details later..."_

He reached into the open fridge for the milk and brushed hands with a stranger. The smooth, young fingers displaying a polished gold ring next to his worked, wrinkled hand reminded him of someone. He glanced up into Sue's familiar face, but she was already walking away, milk in the crowded trolley. He was about to call her name when she turned and suddenly... it wasn't Sue at all; just another hurried mother, providing for her family. He looked down at his list, only a few more items and then he can get the hell out of this manic store and into his own apartment. No one was waiting for him. There would be no emails in his inbox or messages on his phone. No-one had time for someone who had little time for himself.

_ "Here's to Edward, for the years of dedication and loyalty to the firm. Of course, we can't even imagine PRD without his input –he pioneered the company and expanded its profits beyond expectation. But also to the good times, not only is Edward a good boss, but a good friend. And a bloody good drinker! We all thought you were invincible.. didn't think this day would come. But Edward, you really deserve this next chapter. You've worked hard and earned some decent relaxation. Go and enjoy it mate!" The champagne flew, and sprayed with the dispersing cheers and laughter..._

Grapes were essential. He picked the biggest and juiciest looking bunch before inconspicuously popping one into his mouth. Yep, they'll do. Every Sunday, Mr Cullen found his shopping enjoyable – something to do, somewhere to go. People everywhere. The once refreshingly tranquil pace of his steps was soon an inconvenience to hurried shoppers wedged behind him. His friendly smiles and attempts at conversations were not greeted in the way he was used to. As he reached for the cereal box, he recalled in this aisle a week ago he ran into Drew from the office. They had exchanged polite conversation before heading in opposite directions. It was then he realised, with a sober heart, he wasn't part of their circle anymore.

_ It took Edward over an hour to walk out of the office for the last time. Carrying his box of stationary and books, he felt the fear of the next chapter just as on his first day of work. Why was that? At every corner he was greeted by a work colleague wishing luck and saying their farewells. Some even cried. Edward was entering into so called' "freedom'; freedom from what? To possess absolute freedom is to live a life of meaningless bliss; where nothing is eternal and everything connoted to a fleeting lack of commitment. He was committed only to death. And parting from the one thing he had._

Avoiding eye contact until he smiled warmly at the service cashier; a smile that she didn't return, Mr Cullen felt both scrutinized and invisible. She beeped and uttered in an apathetic tone. "Forty dollars and twenty cents". The words came out of a corporate machine, not the human possibility for interaction that Edward longed for.

_Edward woke to the alarm clock he had owned for the past 30 years. At exactly the same time, to exactly the same routine... except that now the routine was shattered. He had little to do with the endless period ahead of him. His ended career seemed to crush into his very soul and it leaked a resolute paralysis into his character. He felt the weight of a void within him, like a vacuum, pulling at his longings until his whole being collapsed that which he once saw in the mirror became a distant secret inside of him and instead was displayed the unspeakable realities of his desires. Everything once filling his life had been buried and instead he was left with a blemishing reminder of who he once was._

Putting the basket back on the stack, he noticed something. A single grape; detached from the bunch and now, with a tear, leaking out juice, lying alone in the corner. The grape had left no mark on this place throughout his journey of groceries, except for this; yet another unusable basket. And why? Because no one could be bothered with such an inconvenience. Mr Cullen sighed and grabbed his three plastic bags. He walked towards the automatic doors and into the afternoon, his pace as slow as rainclouds reaching the desert and his gaze focused as far into the distance as he could.


End file.
